Were the girls wearing pigtails now? Maybe I should be grateful my generation is remembered for tall mall hair. Her voice was that high, lisping, affected nasal twang everyone not from here assumes is our natural way of speaking.
Her hair was pulled into two fluffy blonde clouds of Cindy Brady pigtails. She was also wearing tall riding boots and a tight shirt that hit her just above the waist. Her buttery figure was encased in jodhpurs? No, leggings.
I'm sure she was trying to convey some sense that this was a tragedy for the ages.Īt first, I thought she was a teenager. Every time the agent said this, Flutterby would sigh and stare at her. The agent patiently explained that she would try again, but she needed to let some of the people who have been waiting get their business finished go first. She just wasn't happy with the one they made for her. However, my own hopes for that were being destroyed by a fluttery women who kept interrupting the agent I was supposed to see. I just wanted to get my ID and get on with my day. When he looked at me, in my mind I could hear the audio tag from the old Mortal Kombat game. His expression indicated when he saw what I was reading, it nearly did him in. I have a long history of dashing the hopes of men and today was no exception. What they miss is that happens because those women are Scarlett Johansson. He will inevitably act on the presumption that I might look like those smart girls in the movies who only need to remove their glasses to look like Scarlett Johansson. As usually happens, there was some man hoping he'll meet the love if his life.
So I relaxed my hair, tried to find something flattering from the clavicle up and went to the DMV.īeing a smaht gel, I took a good book: "One More Time: The Best of Mike Royko." As I waited, I read. Still, I decided to try to make lightning strike twice and have a flattering DL photo, something that last happened in 1986.
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It seems to lower expectations, meaning I am free to go on being my weird self unimpeded because I am now too old for anyone to care what I do. The truth is, I've never minded telling my age. For those who are there because they've hit a personally critical age ending in a zero or five, it might even be considered adding insult to injury. Most people are probably far less bothered by the prospect of sharing this information than they are the final step of the process, that moment when we stand in front of a screen and smile at the blue dot. I'm old enough to remember when Tennessee IDs included weight, phone numbers, and Social Security numbers, so I'm probably not as bothered by all of this as I should be. It is a slog made into something just short of an administrative death march. In this new age of everything being verifiable for Homeland Security, there is more paperwork, more personal information to be disclosed, just more of everything.
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So why didn't anyone want to go with me when I mentioned running some errands there? Maybe it had to do with the fact that one of those errands was renewing my driver's license at the local DMV. In fact, Readers' Digest named it the friendliest place in Tennessee. Note: This was started October of 2018 and finished today, 23 April 2019.
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